I should have been elated, but instead I was hesitant. I am always behind the camera; not in front.
Since starting my photography journey and starting my blog a few years ago, I have been up front about one thing. I have a lot of insecurities.
Alexandria has been begging to learn how to use a camera. Yay! Then she proceeded to tell me I needed to be her model. Boo! Unfortunately, this also played into my silly New Year’s bucket list.
1. Being in front of the camera more. I see all these photographers with beautiful images of themselves and with their families, posting professional selfies, using timers and the ability to pose themselves. I still feel the need to go with the phone snapshot.
2. Experimenting more with lighting. Though I am a natural light photographer, I am branching out to experiment with mood lighting, artificial lighting, to give my portfolio some edge.
So, with hair a bed head mess, thrown back in a ponytail and a dab of makeup, I agreed to let her shoot me. I suggested shooting down our hall, somewhere without window light, so I could introduce her to understanding lighting and the camera. This is where I nearly vomited. But also the moment when I understood what every single client I have ever shot, felt! I should have done this before, if anything, to understand the anxiety my clients were feeling.
Alexandria worked to pose me, and a I got a little giddy she chose many poses I use, even if I felt like an awkward beached whale.
We spent about an hour playing, discussing lighting, discussing settings. I then uploaded the images and brought them into LR.
……And this is where I had to walk away.
I was torn. Torn between Alexandria’s ability be a great photographer versus the extreme dislike for the model; does my hair really look like that from the side. Better yet, does my nose?!? With Alexandria’s encouragement, I agreed to do a blog post as long as I had a say in the photos posted. Another thing I learned about my clients. How much they trusted me to choose the images I displayed on the blog, social media, and my website.
I selected a couple of images and began to prepare them for my blog.
…..and that is when it happened dear internet. My daughter had the audacity to scold me for putting my name on her images. Was she for real?! I had to explain to her, for now, she is a branch of Laura Stricklin Photography. We are still working on the terms. She is quite the negotiator.
So here it goes, dear internet. New Year’s bucket list in the making. Alexandria learned some photography and I worked on my fear of being in front of the camera. And with my obvious awkwardness, now you know why I stay behind the camera.
On a side note, I must admit this post is hard. I’m one to bring humor to an uncomfortable situation, but truth is, no humor I bring will change the fact, I am so awkward in front of the camera and all together uncomfortable with my appearance. Did I mention my nose?!? But with the insecurity, I’m a little excited about taking some challenges head and on…
Happy Tuesday, my dear internet,